Faith

FAITH is a funny concept. "Believing in things that we can't see," but which we KNOW to be true.

It's something I've never really struggled with in my life, 'cause...I'm just like that? Ha. I don't know. But it's interesting. I never knew that there would be MORE things in life that would help me build faith. Well - I guess I knew that, but... didn't expect it because faith has always come so easily to me.

Sorry, I'm rambling. My Point: It's been a FAITH BUILDING WEEK! And I'm okay. Ha. Living, breathing, still standing. It's just been a struggle week :P

Our week began with getting to know a few members—some that we had already met—getting to know them better, and others we met for the first time.

Then TUESDAY hit, and I was suddenly....just very sad. :( And I couldn't figure out why. We had district meeting and I made it through, but I knew that everyone knew something was wrong, by the amount of times people asked me, "Are you okay?" or "Are you sisters happy?" I felt bad. But I sucked it up. Then we went to visit Sister Rapata ahd help her sort through some old family documents for family history purposes, but it turned into more of a "Sister Ottley is stressing out and all I want to do is cry" session instead. So Sister Rapata just talked with us and helped me calm down. We ended up going to the Sunset Sister's flat after that, 'cause, well I didn't want to scare people away with all the tears, and we weren't far from their flat. We stayed there a bit, and the Zone Leaders, Elders Summers and Cowley, came to give me a blessing (talking all about having faith and that my Heavenly Father loves me). We stayed at the Sister's flat for a bit after that, and Sister Taylor brought over a jar of Nutella and a spoon for me to make things better (ha)  —and then we had a BRILLIANT call from Gina (a recent convert) saying, "I'm home alone tonight! Come over!" Blessing of a girl!

...And I'm sadly going to cut you off there in the way of details, 'cause... today's been a crazy day with everything that we've needed to accomplish. Ha.

WEDNESDAY was trade-offs and I went to Panmure again, but this time with Sister Anderson :) Lovely times. And ...just a blessing to get away from my area so I could stop stressing for 24 hours. It's not the area really, it's just...my head. My perfectionist side struggling because I don't know how to please everyone and because we don't have anyone to teach and I MISS THAT SO MUCH. Basically... There was a lot of crying this week. Mum, remember the night before I left and I was all packed (thanks to the girls) and all that jazz - and I just started bawling for no apparent reason?  Yup. Very similar.

So SUNDAY I was just....struggling.  Because Saturday we had spent most of the day tracting and i learned that rich people just scare me. Ha. And that Orewa (Hibiscus area) is just...FULL of very rich people! (I'm convinced that this area is to help me get used to what's considered a "normal-size" house back home. Haha.)  And It was just hard.  Good, but hard. And Sunday I just wanted to cry all day, bascially. It's like I'm slowly coming to realize that it's just not possible to fully please everyone. And I know that it's part of the mission life and part of life in general - it's just....hard for me to accept. I even got to a point on Sunday when I texted Sister Taylor (in Sunset Ward) asking what it was like to have depression. 'Cause.... I just couldn't make myself stop crying.  Ridiculous. I just felt silly. And then Elder Summers called and I cried more 'cause we weren't going to the "come and see" - ha. [You can't go without an investigator.] But then he made me laugh-cry - so, better? improvement? Ha.  Anyhoo. We were able to go to dinner at the Maire's home Sunday night, and then over to Brother and Sister Niu to do a member lesson with them. And THAT was just a blessing from above, 'cause it....was needed. It was a HIGH that I needed! A teaching high. And I was HAPPY.

So.... happiness overcomes all things. It's true. This is just my time to learn about faith and how to balance woring with everyone and all the things :)

Life is good. Things move on :)  We'll find someone to teach soon :)  I know that even within these crazy rich-people places, there ARE SOFT HEARTS.

It has been a fun P-day today, a nice outlet and just... time to be with the Zone. We went lazer tagging :) So tell the peeps I'm sorry for not replying to emails. I've printed some that I didn't get to read for later. I've only glanced through your email mum, but basically you're always in tune with the things I need. Don't worry. I'm good. I have HEAPS of missionaries around me that are...very supportive of the Sad-Sister-Ottley whenever she shows up ;)  Haha. And PRIESTHOOD BLESSINGS. They're just wonderful!!

Also, a talk EVERYONE should listen to that Sister Gila and I have been listening to today... It's by Brad Wilcox, and ...i'm not sure what it's called. But he talks about "hanging around with  the Book of Mormon" and tis' hilarious!!

LOVES! I love you all, and I hope you have a most beautiful week :)

Ofa Atu,
Sister Mckenzie Ann Ottley